So a-little bit behind the blog – since this is my first post…
I originally had the intent to keep the blog anonymous and use it as a way to document my treatment process and recovery. But since the original decision to start the blog, I’ve change my mind and decided not to be anonymous, and not heavily talk about my bulimia, anxiety or panic. I’ll keep it light since the beach is a happy place :). I’ll occasionally talk about my eating disorder in the “road to recovery” section but it will no longer be the main focus. Aquamarine Daydream is to be a blog full love positivity, the beach, sunny skies, sunsets and sunrises and love for the ocean with the occasional talk of mental health and bringing awareness so we end the stigma associated with it.
This picture was taken by my boyfriend, where I’m looking out at the sunset. This photo is what exactly inspired me to start this blog. I thought, why not share my story, my thoughts and my UNDENIABLE LOVE for the beach all on one blog. When I saw this picture I couldn’t help but think to myself and get placed back into the emotions I was feeling the exact moment this photo was taken. My mind felt at peace, I felt happy, the beach does that to me. It makes me feel a bunch of emotions but helps me understand them and be at peace with them and overcome any negative energy I might feel. I am diagnosed with severe anxiety, panic disorder and just recently bulimia. I’m in the treatment process for bulimia. My anxiety and panic are works in progress and have been for years. I try to see them as bullies( anxiety and panic), and if I give into the emotion then I’m letting the bully win. Of course it’s easier said then done and I’m slowly figuring out my best ways to deal with it when my body becomes paralyzed with anxiety and panic. The paralyzed feeling barely happens anymore but it does happen every now and then.
So when I saw the picture I was reminded about how much I love the ocean and the beach, and how it helps me overcome these demons and its helping me immensely with my road to recovery from my eating disorder.
The beach is therapeutic, the sea knows all my secrets and problems. Being at the beach and on the water gives me a peace of mind and clarity on my cloudiest days. The beach helps me overcomes these and understand them as much as I can – and then I “send” them out to sea.
Okay…so I’m done rambling now. 🙈
If you have anxiety, panic or an eating disorder what do you do to help calm you and have clarity? Or even if your stressed what do you do that makes you happy?